Mudpuddles and Sunburns

I wouldn't trade Virginia for the world. A place that's so true to season will never promote a desire to reside any other place.

Breeze hitting the tall grass at just the perfect depth, little waves in the fields like the tide moving in. Or puddles parting the open highway as cars roll through. Like it's pulling strands of water with it. Noticing the change in air temperature, as if the heat was replaced by a crisper chill in late September. A ride down a back road yields colors of every hue as fall approaches.

Hand warmers stuffed in shoes, buttoned up Carhartts and flannel, mixed with the body heat of a packed stadium every Friday night. Or snuggling under all the covers on a cold night, to wake up and find a foot of snow on the ground. Giggling all the way down the hill on a pizza pan, to slide off when it hits the bottom.

Reading with sunshine on your back, entrancing in a relaxed state that's indescribable in words.

The ability to drive through a rain storm, to see the sunshine again, or to smell it approaching before the sight of the first puddle. Spending 15 minutes on the porch, as the earth shakes, bolts rip through the sky, and a downpour so fierce it feels like pin needles to the skin if captured in it. The mind is at ease, the scenery envelopes all focus. Soft grass, and squishy mud in between each toe, doing cartwheels in a drizzle, and wishing for a sweet kiss.

Or sitting out for hours on a humid night, fiddling with a Citronella candle that doesn't really work, just to reminisce about times gone by.

God's beauty in all things.

Urgh.

So So So so Soooooo sick of self-centered people!

Accept the Things You Cannot Change

I once sat down and wrote a list of things I wanted to change about myself.

-My hair is unmanageable
-I have an unreasonably small vocabulary
-I have no sense of fashion
-I Despise sweet tea and coffee of any shape and form
-I cant multitask even the littlest of things
-I'm a very jealous person sometimes
-I procrastinate the important things
-I'm fat because I eat, I eat because I'm fat
-My favorites are love songs and I have no one to sing them to
-I'm so poor, I haven't been shopping since March
-There's not much I'm good at
-I simply cannot dance--this is okay though when I'm drunk and careless
-I've been reading about Nashville on the records that everybody's buying and I doubt I'll ever get to go
-I cannot drive a stick-shift vehicle, hell I can barely drive an automatic
-I can't make decisions no matter how big or small--without worrying that it was the wrong one
-I'm losing my mind, my memories

The list went on and on and on and on and on.

And I realized,
...... how can someone ever love me if I don't love myself?

Eventually she gave up. Time and time again, the same old thing. With little holes poked in her heart, the whole time she pasted a smile on her face. She masked her confusion, her disappointment and went on like nothing ever happened. The same let-downs, everything repeated.

I've learned not to get attached. Not to get too comfortable. Not to take things for granted.

I'll add more later...

HAPPINESS IS A MAT THAT SITS ON THE DOORWAY...

You’re movin and groovin’ to your favorite song, transfixed only on the familiar melodies and the beat that pulses through your body.
.....And bam, your knee hits the steering wheel.
BACK TO REALITY.

Your friends come home, and you sit around and laugh just like old times.
.....Two days later, they're gone again.
BACK TO REALITY.

You can't afford a convertible, yet you long to feel the wind whip through your hair. The next best thing: stick your head out the window.
.....and the neighbor's sprinkler system squirts you in the eye.
BACK TO REALITY.

You get lost in your music on that open highway, flat ground. You're in the zone, a sort of trance.
.....A cop flies by, and your speedometer reads 15 mph over the limit.
BACK TO REALITY.

Your friendship is stronger than it’s ever been and you smile from ear to ear more often than not. There's just so much history and so many memories that you've shared over the years.....Then there’s a certain sting stemming from the whispers of others. Apparently the feelings aren't mutual. In fact, it seems you hardly know them at all.

BACK TO REALITY.

You're laying on your back, room spinning. Faster and faster the ceiling is winding around. Faintly, there’s a familiarity of childhood. Standing in one spot. Spinning and spinning. Arms reached out to the sides. You drop to the floor, and that certain glee from feeling the earth’s rotation pops to the surface once again.
.....And then there’s a sudden lurch as you barely make it to the glistening porcelain that has seemed to lure more and more throughout those teenage years.
BACK TO REALITY.

You've waited a whole week, last week's episode just ended with a total cliffhanger. You clear your schedule and turn on the tube.
....'effin re-runs. or basketball. or recently, network outages.
BACK TO REALITY!

Fuckin Hello!

Indecisive. My middle name. In hopes of cheering me up after Wednesday, Jessica treated me to lunch before class on Thursday. I frantically flipped through the menu about 77 times and still had no idea. Apologetically, I explained this indecisiveness to our friendly waitor; he just smiled and said, "No problem, I'll be here 'till 4:00!" On his 24th attempt to take our order, he stood at the bottom of the steps and questioningly held up his thumbs. I smiled and too gave him the thumbs up, I had decided.

I cried all day Wednesday and just that fact that Abby remembered my appointment and called to see how it went made me smile for the rest of the evening.

I had the pedal to the medal on 64 a few days ago, ready to get home and unwind. 70 in the 55 work zone in fact. The bastard behind me never eased off my tail, so I frantically changed lanes with a scowl on my face. As he passed, he twirled around and nodded hello. I think he got the picture though cause my facial expression was a lot less friendly.

We hiked through the mud all day long Saturday at the Redneck Jamboree in the pouring freezing rain. As we were leaving the bottom after the drag race, some kid looked up at us and said, "Ya'll are from Louisa, I've seen ya'll before. Come on back this way, that's where the beer is! Are ya'll stayin the night? I gotta work Sunday and I'm stayin!" Robert looked back and Jessica and I and said, "Yeah, it's hard work at McDonalds!"

Aunt B turned 60 and opened her gift from one of her friends last night. If you could've only seen her face as she pulled out a striped thong and exclaimed, "I'd have a lot hang out of that!"

People have such mystery, I just happen to take the liberty of trying to figure it out. I won't pry, but I let myself get lost in thought over it.

Why in the world did that woman pair up that clothing ensamble?! He really sees nothing wrong with having his ass hang out of his jeans? I don't even want to know how he fits everything into those pants. ...okay, there's some things the world may never know.