Why Do I spend Endless Nights Writing These Stupid Things?

Abby’s Aunt Alice makes me laugh more than any other person in the world…okay so she ties with a few of my favorites, but she’s still amazing <3

Play the Dixie horn and it’s love at first sight! Abby and I discovered that at the club!

I credit Elizabeth for making me a drunk. Haha. It’s my own decision, but who else can I say made me try all the Schnapps’’ (Peach is the only one worth drinking) Hypnotic, Goldslauger, Tequila and a bigillion other drinks in one night! Hehe, she makes me smile!

My Momma is my hero and I love her more than anyone else in the world. Just hearing her voice when I’m sick makes me better, she’s that remarkable.

I cant smoke, but I like puffing it when I drink…I hardly inhale, but it gives me something to do with my hands.

I left my camera charger in my dorm room, along with all my shoes—they’re prized possessions, you have no idea how much it’s killing me being without them!

I’ll tell you I have gas (and probably do) but most likely, I wont fart on you...I have a fear of bodily functions in public places. All my friends like to talk to me when they’re sitting on the commode; I guess I bring the shit right out of them! Glad to know I keep you regular! ;)

I’m scared for new things, I don’t handle all that change very well. So when I’m with you, around people I don’t know. Don’t hate me for being quiet, just know that I’m overwhelmed and somehow help me break the silence.

I get embarrassed easier than anyone I know…so just because I blush doesn’t mean I like you…I just tend to do that around new people.

Have I ever told you that I can associate a song with any item, person or place? If you said broom, Id think of “Put the lime in the coconut”—because of Practical Magic (the broom means trouble or something). I associate Steve Miller’s The Joker with Jordan (I remember singing it to the waitress at Obrigado because she couldn’t remember all the words. And Juvenile’s Back that Ass up reminds me of middle school dances. School buses remind me of Savage Garden cause we sang Truly, Madly, Deeply like everyday! …so just tell me an object, I promise I’ll think of a song for ya :)

I broke a plate at Rebecca’s nanny’s house and she said she did it. Josh’s glasses fell off his head and I rocked overtop of it with his chair...he told his Momma that he threw his hands up in the air and they went flying off and broke. I also spit gum in Sarah’s hair on an accident and ran into a parked car (while walking) and bent their license plate. Ooh yeah, and this one time I took Caleb and his friend to football practice, and hit Caleb with my car…he just didn’t get outta the way fast enough!

Ooh yeah, and I think the smell of Dial or Dove soap is the most delectable smell in the universe! You buy those high dollar perfumes and cologne, yet there's nothin like the smell of cleanliness.

Silent Night, Holy Night..YEAH RIGHT!

I hate that I never took the time to listen to the ones that I've lost. There's so many stories they have. So although it gets annoying that I say the same things a bigillion times, you might be sad one day if I didnt :)

Apparantly Im not the only one that lays in the floor, sings until Im blue in the face and loses my shoes.

There were two main stories told this year:
Papaw, Hoyt and Bill were sitting in the den liquoring it up. Mildred was in another room but walked into the kitchen. Papaw started hollarin, "Tell Me Merry Christmas Mildred!" ...he chanted it a couple times and fell into the baby high-chair! hahahaha
Then he laid down and went to sleep in the floor.

The Three Stooges got together on another night, passed out and then woke up in the early morn and walked down the streets to their own houses. Bill lost his slipper on the way...the next mornin they found it on the side of the road.
They've also lost their trucks too, but that's a different story.

You have no idea how excited I've been for the past few days about my new music. I ripped all Abby's Christmas cds and Ralph gave me a flashdrive with like 100 songs for Christmas. There's even Born to Be Wild, The Grateful Dead and Don McClean. Makes me smile from ear to ear.

You'll be happy to know, that Im not dwelling on the misery of my friendships. Im gonna live and let be. I heard a song today about this being a time where worrying wont help...that's my endnote.

Abby's lake is one of the most beautiful places Ive ever been...I get my best sleep there--when it's permitted

Ooh yeah, Christmas morning, we took turns shootin the pistol and BB Gun. Dont you worry, Annie Oakley hit her target.

And they all found pleasure in dwelling on the big pimple on my face, my hookah days and the beer bong. As they say, you can't pick your family!

Violet's mudpuddle is the king of all mudholes! My heart starts racing, adrenaline pumps in my veins as we hit it at full speed. The chore isnt done until all windows are covered in that wet murky mess.

So Ive given up--really given up this time. Anyone who's gonna badmouth me to MY FRIENDS isnt worth the time and the effort. I give way too many second chances, today is not your day. Goodbye.

Untitled

Ive grown to hate the smell of coconut. I walked into Violet's house yesterday and almost puked because her shampoo smelled like it. Stupid Malibu ruining everything!

I watched the Brady Bunch Christmas movie today and cried for an hour. I want it to be done with. I hate my days right now...for more reasons than I'll ever be able to describe to you. Im scared, but sometimes I find myself losing faith.

So we're deffinately Sanford and Son. Mom and I went to the cousin's today and raded her woods for a Charlie Brown Christmas tree. Ralph came up and axed it for us.

So there's only branches on one side of it...the other side is totally blank. I'll take a picture. We piled in the truck (5 of us) and drove to Chesterfield to load a washer and dryer cause Jill bought it from this lady and had to work tonight. I wore my snowboots and a blue shirt with a big buck on it. Nice, right?

I got to my doorstep last night and heard the cows mooing...it made me smile. I stared at the stars yesterday and I swear they winked at me.

One day Im gonna tell you what I really think. I cant promise that it's gonna be pretty...but maybe on that particular day, it will make me feel better. Until then I'll just try and cope.

Ive become a big Wine-O....just the cheap boxed stuff. But when I laid down the other night, the room was spinning and I thought I was going to puke... I dont like that feeling.

I think my life is like that Jo Dee Messina's song:
"I wear my life, right on my sleeve
Who I am ain't no mystery
Where I've been has left a mark on me"

Although I do look happy most of the time, if you look closely, you should be able to see inside my soul. So the days that my soul doesnt look too right, ask me if I'm okay...it will mean the world.

Okay, so the Bob Marley cd that I just got...is one of the best Christmas gifts that Ive gotten in a long time. Yay Joshy!

I laughed for an hour the other night reading the notes from the Dove Chocolate wrapper. I began to just open the wrappers to read them...I had a whole pile of chocolate that I threw away. hahahahaha--Im sorry Abby Leigh! ;)

We were packed in the truck and all of a sudden the baby goes, "Awwwwww...rock me mamah, watch me roll...supaman" She had her own rendition of Soulja Boi.

I want to play the fiddle one day...Caleb and I ran around the house earlier with air fiddles!
....and you thought you were cool! ;)

I like eating my ice cream with a fork, yes...that includes ice cream sandwiches, cones and Klondike Bars.

I watched I Now Pronounce You, Chuck and Larry. I dont care if it got bad reviews, it's hilarious! Actually, I like the movies that everyone else hates:
National Treasure
Torque
Biker Boys
Annapolis
Poseidon
Fast and Furious 2 & 3

And I hate the movies that everyone else likes:
Grind House
Grind House
Anchor Man
Grind House
Grind House

I cant stand peanuts, beans, and hot dogs (yes you know this)
I need to go fishin soon. I miss it way too much! So this summer, we're taking an adventure to the lakes or something, okay?

I also need a CB radio.

And a scanner (not for the computer, the one to listen to 911 calls)

and a car, some courage, personality and a new wardrobe.

Chrismas Preparations

I must say that Home Alone 2 is by far the best Christmas video--EVER! Okay, there's a draw between Garfield's Christmas, Home Alone 2 and Dont Shoot Your Eye Out Ralphie, but still... I mean, the clown in the shower is classic and "I'm gonna give you to the count of three to get your lousy, lyin', low-down, four flushing carcass OUT my door! 1... 2... " that's just badass!

Everywhere you go, people tell you to watch out for deer at night...well not everywhere you go, but I guarentee you've heard it in your life. In Louisa County you have to worry about deer, but I never thought the day would come that Id tell you to watch out for cows! Yes that's right folks, I was drivin the big daddy truck yesterday, blarin my Johnny Cash when outta nowhere there's a big burly cow! Steak anyone?

Ooh yeah, and one time I was worried about hitting an Ostrich....Josh never freakin saw it! It just so happened, it turned into a sign when I got close to it! hmmm....Eye doctor please!

I bought my first two Christmas presents for the year. I bought Jess a tree. Its the giving tree, okay? And Brittany got some tweezers! Mwhahahhha! ...and you think Im kidding! I had to spend my dining dollars somehow, or else they'd go to waste! I got Chinese bowls for the bro and daddy-o. Momma is getting some diet pepsi and Matthew is getting chips! Ooh yeah, and I sent some chips and gum with Jessica too!

I really wanted to get a horde of Hobo's together and take 'em on into Shafer with me! ...somehow I dont think that would've gone over too well!

But instead, I just treated the girls to lunch. I even bought them cookies. My idea of a perfect chocolate cookie, is to be chipless! I just want the cookie, not the chocolate. So I picked out the M&Ms.

Merry Christmas you Filthy Animal!

Random Reflection 2

Through the fog of sadness, I find myself reflecting. I always say that it’s hard to see it, but there are others that have it a lot worse. Our soldiers are dying in Iraq while their babies are being born, children are starving on the streets and people are overcoming obstacles with terminal illnesses. I was freezing to the bone as I waited for the bus yesterday afternoon. Late as usual, but it finally came. I was stressed about a 5 page paper that awaited me and almost grumpy because of it. Suddenly, something caught my attention and for an instant, the world stopped moving. I just stood there awe-struck as a blind man got on the bus and sat in the first seat. He rode the bus for a couple stops and although I don’t know how he knew, he pulled the cord and wandered into the darkness.

Its times like this that make me really hate myself for being deeply saddened by the dumbest of things. There’s just things I cant say, things no one knows. Things that I just have to do and get through on my own.

I hate fashion. I’ve been known to wear navy corduroy pants, a black pea coat and brown shoes TOGETHER. My hair always looks a mess and I’m happiest in my pajamas, and the great thing is, my friends go on loving me even during these moments. One day I’ll look fashionable, I promise. It just wont be today or the next day, or even the day after that either :)

I have the weirdest dreams from time to time--that’s when I actually sleep to the point of REM. The other night, I woke up scared to death because I dreamed there were vampires and then things that were worse than the vamps! Whew!

Then last night, I dreamed that we went to a restaurant (all of us, the favorites and even the ones the favorites don’t care for) but the weird thing about this restaurant--it was a cemetery! Talk about scary! We were just sitting there with our appetizers and they kept bringing out different rolls. Well the last thing I remember before I woke up, was that one batch of rolls had potato chips in the middle! We’d just bite into them, think they were nasty and throw them on Brittany Pendleton’s plate…she seemed to like them!

I think everyone’s getting knocked up and falling in love way too fast! What happened to “that sexual moment” being sacred and intimate? So my views on losing my virginity: I’ve heard it hurts like a bitch! So all I gotta say is I’m not giving just any regular Joe access to hurt me! I need you to love me, and I need to love you before that downstairs gets an okay pass.

I’ll say it again, my family is the craziest out there! I took my brother and his friend home one afternoon and when I looked into the rearview mirror, they had pantyhose on their head! I thought we were just going home, I didn’t realize they were planning a robbery!
Not only does he shoot things out of his belly button, but he also strips down to his tighty whiteys and does Soulja Boi down the hallway!

I grew up playing poker, gambling with sweet and low packets, standing on the stool with a paper plate to deactivate Aunt B’s smoke detector, and singing to Hank, Alan and George. Julia, Sandra, Denzel and Bruce have always been my favorites and I cant ever resist the urge to play in the snow.

I get a knot in my throat when I listen to sad songs, watch The Notebook, Steel Magnolias and Fried Green Tomatoes and when someone dies.
You’ll think its weird that I remember everything about my past, every little moment, every little laugh and ever little time spent together. Life is on a changing course, I guess I’d like to think that if I hold on tight, then some part of you will stay with me forever. Because truthfully, I’m the shyest person you’ll meet and don’t make friends too easily. I’m scared to open up, its something I’ve struggled with since the day I was born.

Id like to marry a cowboy, but for the time being, I’m so desperate, Id go for any genre of boy.

I know you think I’m the biggest pessimist, but to me, it’s a way of not getting my hopes up. I’m not as negative as I seem and I do smile on a regular basis. I try to be happy when I’m not, somehow it just makes things a lot easier.

I like secrets. Not because it’s juicy and gossipy, but the fact that you trust me with them, well that makes me heart smile. I promise there’s secrets I know about everyone ;)

This is when I want to end my blog post with a joke…too bad I don’t know any!

Ooh and I like that song that goes, “Dollah Dollah Bill Yall” …its about a hooker but it makes me want to dance and I don’t want to “she used to be the sweetest girl” I want to be THE SWEETEST GIRL.

You know what sucks, I’m typing this and it’s almost 900 words--and it took me about well…not that long. Then I look back a couple hours ago, I’ve had to write 900 words for my lit exam and it took me all freakin week and all day to get a move on it! So what’s the problem?