Thanks for Giving, I Suppose...

Thanksgiving has come and gone and I'll miss it. This year was different. I'll hold onto this Thanksgiving like none other. The separation from my friends has been unbearable so I've counted down the days till I got to see them again.


Then it came, Gholson residence, a little wine and some spaghetti and well...life just seemed close to perfect sitting at that kitchen table with an oven mit on my hand laughing at everyone and talkin it up with the parental units...even if I did wake up with a headache this morning :)

Aunt B won the turkey playing Bingo, but was too excited and forgot to make the mashed potatoes. Momma made macaroni but the baby told her it was too dry, my aunt scrambled the chocolate chess and Wally made an Apple pie without sugar.

I learned that Sweet potatoes are supposed to increase your sex drive, when the cousins sit beside you and get real quiet, it's because they've dropped the bomb and trapped you in the corner with no room to escape...the poor baby ended up calling the Shit Squad to come arrest her!--yes, that's how stinky it was!

The break will be with me always, for I hold on way too tightly..and I have pictures to keep the thoughts alive. But through the happiness and through the laughs, I found some tears along the way.

Im just sick of defending, sick of pretending, sick of hiding....sometimes it just doesnt make sense. I guess that's just it, life doesnt make sense...NEVER!


So I've decided:
....speak your heart. Dont worry about the embarrassment. You might be surprised by the outcome.And if it doesnt work out like you want it. I guarentee the person that you're telling, will make it alright, somehow.

Rolling Tumbleweed--like in the Westerns

VCU is a desterted ghost town.

The dorms are clean, cords un-plugged, beds made and the heat switched to on. I never fought for a shower this morning and I was the only passenger on the bus. I slept last night--for the first time EVER! Although it was hotter than the hinges of hell and I had to do a mid-night striptease into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, quietness surrounded me.

There was noone running up and down the hallways playing tag. There were no laughs from outside my door, and no roomate coming in at the crack of dawn (haha, Im used to it now!)

So everyone is snuggled in their beds, starting their Break like they're supposed to. And Im stuck in the cold polluted city.

Gobble Gobble Bitches, it's Thanksgiving tomorrow and I get to see the favorites FINALLY!

You'd Think I'd Be Getting Skinnier!

The Food is always horrible in this joint, but today it took vomit-ous to a whole new level! I made a nice salad since I've grown accostumed to eating them every couple of days. I stacked the lettuce and moved to the dressing and to my horror, there was no Ranch! I dumped a little of the mystery dressing onto my plate and gag reflex! I settled for some creamy italian, but it still didnt hit the spot.

I walked up and got a baked potato, but that wasn't right either--it was one hard spud!

Pasta salad was my next trip, one bite and I threw my fork on the table in resignition.

I tried once more and grabbed a delish...WRONG! It had some foreign berry in the middle.

7th time is the charm, they replaced the Ranch and I dipped some delicate fries in the white puddle of satisfaction!

....so what's the moral of the story, please come visit, but plan on eating cereal, pizza or taking me out to dinner :)

Add a Little Humor to Your Day

No matter the pain, no matter the tears, no matter the misery, if you allow yourself, you'll always find atleast an ounce of happiness. If you open your heart, you'll be surprised at how often you can laugh on a regular basis. I guess Im lucky, I find humor it well...just about everything--especially in a quiet room when you're supposed to be serious.

There's probably something totally random that makes me laugh each and everyday. Some are very clear in my mind, others have faded, but you can rest assure that they were influential moments in my life :)

YOU-HAD-TO-BE-THERE-MOMENTS:

The clock finally reached dismissal. It was chilly and I reached to grab my coat. I stuck my right arm in and was bending my left to put it on. CJ was sitting in the seat beside me beant over stuffing his folders in his bookbag--he was eager to leave that place too! Well, about the time that I bent my arm, he sat straight up and BAM! I elbowed him right on the top of his bald head! You may think it's just an accident, worth forgiving (stunned, he just laughed) but for me, it was what I call a CLASSIC THREE STOOGES MOMENT!

We helped my cousin move into her house. Mom was cleaning out the bathroom cabinet and BERRMPH! Momma blew the air horn right in Jaimies ear. Who keeps an air horn in the bathroom? You try rushing to get things packed up and have the shit scared outta ya!

My family has a need to get to everything about an hour early, so we piled into the mini-van, windows tatted up with green and gold paint. We watched the first championship game...heck yeah, we cheered for the moutain boys! I even got a pom pom! Our Lions finally walked across the field with their mohawks and it made me smile. The game got intense and there was a fellow Amherst-er a few seats below mine. I'm always proud of my Lions, but on that particular day, I was the proudest. The crowd went wild and I put some elbow grease into ringin my cowbell! BLING..I musta been wavin it wayyy too hard cause it flew right down and hit the seat beside that Amherst bastard...needless to say, he picked his scrawny ass up and moved!

I was sitting on the bed entranced into my tv program when Caleb busted through the door. The look on his face was pure agony...he was crying! ...Dumbass got a marble stuck in his belly button. .....that's a classic GET THE CRISCO OUT AND GREASE THAT SUCKER moment!

It was the crack of dawn as I sat in math class. The teacher was at the chalkboard solving a problem and the class sat head-in-hand taking turns staring at the clock. And low and behold, the smell of coconut filled the air. I leaned over to my neighbor and whispered in his ear, "You smell like Malibu Rum!" It wasnt the statement that was funny, it was his expression! He laughed so hard as he put his cocoa butter back in his bag. ...haha, he prolly thinks Im a total Alchy!

In the olden days, they made babydolls that you could actually feed. You’d put water in their bottle, put the bottle to their lips and wait. Within a couple minutes, the baby would “pee”…the diaper had a color changing thing so when the water leaked outta the baby, it was yellow. …well I was sitting in Babaw’s living room and Becca gave the baby hot sauce. Within minutes, her little sister checked the diaper and it was full of well…Becca was into some Hot Shit!

Sometimes they call me Betty Crocker cause if I love you, you're getting a cake for you birthday. Well, it was mid-December of last year and boredom struck. I got out the industrial sized blender, added a little of this and a little of that and wahlah! A Garlic Cake!

Sometimes you gotta just dance! Shakin your groove thing in the car is one of my favorites. Lacey and I sat at a stop light and started shuckin and jivin! An image out of the corner of my eye made me instantly look over at the car beside us. It was an older gentlemen and his daughter...they were dancin pretty funky and pointing. It was dance-off in the parkin lot! I swear we kicked their asses!

GRTC

I got up at 7:33 this morning and hopped in the shower with my flip flops on. Grabbed an oatmeal thing and shoved it in my mouth on the way to the bus stop where I waited impatiently. It was cold as Alaska this morning and of course, the bus wasnt on time.

I pushed myself to the front of the line (not really, but it sounds intense, right?) and boarded quickly. It was like a heat wave that hit me square in the jowl. Brotha had it cookin up in that joint!

It was unusual this morning, there was about 6 of us total. Usually we're sitting side by side with people's butts in our faces as they stand up and hold onto that stinky cold metal pole that screams HAND SANITIZER PLEASE!

It was all quiet--Friday morning hangovers? Except for the woman directly across from me. I was drawn to her somehow. Her face was black and wrinkled with age and hair in a messy knot of a ponytail. Her appearance was worn and ragged, almost as if it was her heart speaking out. So I sat there, almost crying because the experience was breathtaking.

She talked to the busdriver about seeing movies once a week, but the prices were on the rise so she was forced to only see her favorites at the Byrd when they premiered. The driver asked her what she was doing for the Holidays--this is what brought water to my eyes. She simply replied, "I usually cook myself a little snack and sit and watch whatever's on Fox or 65".

Her personality was bubbly, and her sweetness filled the air. She felt no shame though I wanted to tell her right then and there that she would just have to come and eat thanksgiving with me!

It's times like these that you really have to evaluate your own life. Here I sit, everyday of my life and worry about some of the dumbest things. And there she sat, so lonesome in the world, but with a smile on her face.

...................thing that bothers me. I can see a little bit of myself in her. im scared im gonna be lonely forever. :(

Random Reflection #1

Writing clears my soul. Some of this wont make sense, some will sound pathetic and well...you're free to take your own spin on all of this.....

So here I sit with my headphones blaring my new favorite, 'If I had the money money, would you love me love me love me. If I wasnt somebody like me....Ive made mistakes that I can't erase....." It just helps to reflect. Sometimes life is meant to be thought of deeply, so here it goes:
Im thankful those in my life that can forgive me. There's things I want to say and dont really know exactly how to say them. I cant form words to express how I feel toward everyone...it just kind of sits there. Compliments mean the world and I got enough last week to last me a really long time. It makes me cry because truthfully, Matthew, you guys are the friends that everyone wants but no one deserves. So this is when I bust out the Akon - "As life goes on I'm starting to learn more and more about responsibility, I realize everything I do is affecting the people around me, So I want to take this time out and apologize for things I have done, And things that have not occurred yet"

My life revolves around friendships...and well, the bus these days. Sometimes I laugh my head off, because I'll sit down with my hands in my lap, coat folded nicely in my arms and then the guys board. If you've ever ridden the infamous city bus, you'll know that it stinks, it's stale with the hot air from the heaters and there's about a bigillion people crammed into one tiny space. So this week, I board and gasp for any cold air that might have entered when the door opened. Im claustophobic so that makes it worse! And down sits two guys, crammed on both sides of me. Im all tense and there the two guys sat, legs spread out, shoulders sprawled...I really wanted to say, "If you wanted to sit in my lap, you could've asked!" ....haha, my biggest thought was, "Man couldnt they have been the chippendales?"

Okay, so random thought # 899: I believe that tears can relieve some heartache. Freedom Writers for example, we sat there in the Vorlet living room dripped with sadness--now that's devoted friendship!

I get chills when I hear a sad song, think about the soldiers, or listen intently to a real-life love story.

CNU had one of the best parties I've been to in a long time. It wasn't anything spectacular, but surrounded by friends in a house full of strangers, and somehow that's okay. Everyone is nice, makes me pretty happy....even if I did chant, "Gay is Okay!" haha. And duh, I've mastered the Barrel Roll, all by myself! :)

Most people rave about their view. I mean, look at Josh, he's got that lush Drill Field, and Matthew has ducks in pond, right? So what does my window reach out to? A damn parking deck! But I have to say, I get a big kick out of the security that rides around in circles up here on the top, there's about 5 cars, do you really think there' someone hiding up there? Today theres a black guy that's standing out of his little white car. And what is he doing? He's a break dancin fool! He's Jumpin around.....ooh the things people do when they think no one is watching!

Ive talked about it for weeks, but that new group State of Shock has some totally awesome songs! Along with Old Crow Moutain show--beware, it's bluegrass!

I never thought it would happen, but I actually miss driving my car around! Me in the open road, I wish I could multi-task with my camera! There's something about the leaves that make me smile! I want to capture that natural beauty, just to have it during the dead winter.

Okay so in the past week, I've heard repeatedly that I am basically a country hick, but totally random and hilarious...so I'm a funny country hick? that's opposed to the ones that aren't funny! It's not just umbrella that I say wrong. Older is pronounced wrong, apparantly ya'll shouldnt be used in sentences and the list goes on!

Those girls just don't know half of it. If they laugh hysterically for me busting out the Space Jam soundtrack in the middle of the lunchroom, then damn...they are in for a real treat! They should've been there for the bread-stick showdown in the middle of the Olive Garden parking lot, that traveled all the way down broad street! haha hhahaha!

My room smells like popcorn. It's seeping out from under the door and moving its way down the hallway. Ooh the Aroma!