Hope For the Best, Expect the Worst

Things happen in our lives that make us question everything around us. As the days drag on, we must face our fears, and conquer our troubles. Death becomes repetitive. You’re thankful that it doesn’t hit extremely close to home, but it doesn’t make it any easier. And so there’s a constant ache just because you can’t seem to comfort those that it did creep up on. As humans we find different sources that help us cope, different ways that allow us to grieve.

Pain plays with the insecurities. Physically, there’s so much hurt, and the only relief is to live the next few years with objects that diminish what little self esteem you seem to have.
The stress consumes you, it’s almost helpless. That’s how you feel anyway. It’s almost a look for pity, although it’s not exactly the best thing needed. Life becomes a black hole, like all sense of happiness is being sucked away.

And there’s things you don’t want to talk about. Because even though you’ve tried, you’re lost for what can be done to wrap it under control.

There’s that saying, “You’re old enough for your wants not to hurt you.” Well what if you don’t get even a piece of anything you want? Or what if your biggest fears entail never getting the one thing you’ve always wanted?

And so it begins. The familiar feeling, as they trickle down your cheeks. But even so, you remind yourself of all the things you do have that we all seem to take for granted. For the time being, you push the negativity to the back of your mind and the only thing you have left to hold onto floods to the surface; hope.

You remind yourself that there are others that have it a lot worse. We live in a world of freedom. And although the luxuries may be limited compared to many, they’re there nonetheless. There’s a computer to type and post even the deepest of thoughts when time permits. The ability to see the beauty in others, to hear the belting lyrics of emotion, or even to feel the wind whip through your hair as the car speeds down the open highway.

You take a deep breath, and go about your day. The only thing that keeps you going is the little things that you run into. Your favorite song on the radio, the chance to laugh until you cry, the simplest of circumstances.

And one by one, things come crashing down once again. You cry yourself to sleep on the loneliest of nights and wish for it all to be okay. And slowly you find yourself losing hope. It gets harder to pick yourself back up. Because in the back of your head, if your life starts to even remotely get easier, in the back of your mind, your hearts still weeping, it fears that nothing good ever lasts for long.