Random Reflection 2

Through the fog of sadness, I find myself reflecting. I always say that it’s hard to see it, but there are others that have it a lot worse. Our soldiers are dying in Iraq while their babies are being born, children are starving on the streets and people are overcoming obstacles with terminal illnesses. I was freezing to the bone as I waited for the bus yesterday afternoon. Late as usual, but it finally came. I was stressed about a 5 page paper that awaited me and almost grumpy because of it. Suddenly, something caught my attention and for an instant, the world stopped moving. I just stood there awe-struck as a blind man got on the bus and sat in the first seat. He rode the bus for a couple stops and although I don’t know how he knew, he pulled the cord and wandered into the darkness.

Its times like this that make me really hate myself for being deeply saddened by the dumbest of things. There’s just things I cant say, things no one knows. Things that I just have to do and get through on my own.

I hate fashion. I’ve been known to wear navy corduroy pants, a black pea coat and brown shoes TOGETHER. My hair always looks a mess and I’m happiest in my pajamas, and the great thing is, my friends go on loving me even during these moments. One day I’ll look fashionable, I promise. It just wont be today or the next day, or even the day after that either :)

I have the weirdest dreams from time to time--that’s when I actually sleep to the point of REM. The other night, I woke up scared to death because I dreamed there were vampires and then things that were worse than the vamps! Whew!

Then last night, I dreamed that we went to a restaurant (all of us, the favorites and even the ones the favorites don’t care for) but the weird thing about this restaurant--it was a cemetery! Talk about scary! We were just sitting there with our appetizers and they kept bringing out different rolls. Well the last thing I remember before I woke up, was that one batch of rolls had potato chips in the middle! We’d just bite into them, think they were nasty and throw them on Brittany Pendleton’s plate…she seemed to like them!

I think everyone’s getting knocked up and falling in love way too fast! What happened to “that sexual moment” being sacred and intimate? So my views on losing my virginity: I’ve heard it hurts like a bitch! So all I gotta say is I’m not giving just any regular Joe access to hurt me! I need you to love me, and I need to love you before that downstairs gets an okay pass.

I’ll say it again, my family is the craziest out there! I took my brother and his friend home one afternoon and when I looked into the rearview mirror, they had pantyhose on their head! I thought we were just going home, I didn’t realize they were planning a robbery!
Not only does he shoot things out of his belly button, but he also strips down to his tighty whiteys and does Soulja Boi down the hallway!

I grew up playing poker, gambling with sweet and low packets, standing on the stool with a paper plate to deactivate Aunt B’s smoke detector, and singing to Hank, Alan and George. Julia, Sandra, Denzel and Bruce have always been my favorites and I cant ever resist the urge to play in the snow.

I get a knot in my throat when I listen to sad songs, watch The Notebook, Steel Magnolias and Fried Green Tomatoes and when someone dies.
You’ll think its weird that I remember everything about my past, every little moment, every little laugh and ever little time spent together. Life is on a changing course, I guess I’d like to think that if I hold on tight, then some part of you will stay with me forever. Because truthfully, I’m the shyest person you’ll meet and don’t make friends too easily. I’m scared to open up, its something I’ve struggled with since the day I was born.

Id like to marry a cowboy, but for the time being, I’m so desperate, Id go for any genre of boy.

I know you think I’m the biggest pessimist, but to me, it’s a way of not getting my hopes up. I’m not as negative as I seem and I do smile on a regular basis. I try to be happy when I’m not, somehow it just makes things a lot easier.

I like secrets. Not because it’s juicy and gossipy, but the fact that you trust me with them, well that makes me heart smile. I promise there’s secrets I know about everyone ;)

This is when I want to end my blog post with a joke…too bad I don’t know any!

Ooh and I like that song that goes, “Dollah Dollah Bill Yall” …its about a hooker but it makes me want to dance and I don’t want to “she used to be the sweetest girl” I want to be THE SWEETEST GIRL.

You know what sucks, I’m typing this and it’s almost 900 words--and it took me about well…not that long. Then I look back a couple hours ago, I’ve had to write 900 words for my lit exam and it took me all freakin week and all day to get a move on it! So what’s the problem?